Sunday, 29 March 2015

Alien Abduction Insurance

Alien abduction insurance is an insurance policy issued against alien abduction. The insurance policy is redeemed if the insured person can prove they were abducted by aliens and returned to Earth. Geico insurance and The Daily Telegraph report that one English company has sold over 30,000 policies.Some companies offer policies for alien pregnancy, alien examinations and death caused by aliens.
The very first company to offer UFO abduction insurance was the St. Lawrence Agency in Altamonte Springs, Florida. The company pays the claimant $1 per year until their death or for 1 million years, whichever comes first. Over 20,000 people have purchased the insurance. The insurance is normally purchased by the "feeble-minded", according to Simon Burgess, former Managing Director and co-founder of British Insurance.

The Heaven's Gate religious group had purchased alien abduction insurance before their mass suicide. Their insurance company (London brokerage Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson (GRIP) stopped offering alien abduction insurance after the suicide - having sold the policy to about four thousand people (mostly in England and the United States). At a cost of roughly $155 a year the GRIP policy would pay about $160,000 to someone who could show that they had been abducted by a being who was not from Earth. The payment would double if the insured person was impregnated during the event. Men were also able to purchase the impregnation insurance for protection against the unknown capabilities of alien technology.
I'm not making this up.  British Insurance of Colchester, Essex, England has policies available for £100 per year for £1,000,000 of coverage.  (This is the same company that insured three sisters in Inverness, Scotland in 2006 against a virgin birth; evidently the three were afraid that one of them might be responsible for the Second Coming of Christ.)  Several American companies offer policies for similar rate/payout ratios.  It's reputed that noted wingnut Shirley MacLaine has purchased such a policy, although if she did get abducted a lot of the skeptics I know would be willing to pay the aliens to keep her.
If that's a little expensive for your tastes, a Florida insurance company, the St. Lawrence Agency, will send you a handsome certificate certifying your coverage of $10 million for a one-time payment of only $7.95.  Not only are you insured against alien abduction by this policy, your outpatient medical expenses (for recovering from the effects of the abduction) are covered, and you are guaranteed double indemnity if your visit to the spacecraft resulted in any half-human, half-alien children, or if (heaven forbid) the aliens come back insisting on conjugal visits.
While the St. Lawrence Agency's offer is clearly meant as a joke, the rest of these guys are apparently serious.  In fact, the London brokerage Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson once offered a policy (now discontinued) that was remarkably like the St. Lawrence Agency one, with the addition that men could also insure themselves against impregnation -- because, after all, you never know what those crafty aliens might be capable of.  And the GRIP policy was entirely legally binding and authentic.  Which brings up a few questions:
·        First:  Are the people who purchase these policies insane?  Or what?
·        Second, this seems like an awfully good deal for the insurance company, doesn't it? 
·        Third, I wonder how they calculated the premium?
·        And last: what happens if the aliens decide not to return you to Earth?
 Companies covering Alien Abduction Insurance
Lloyd's of London, generally known simply as Lloyd's, is an insurance market located in London's primary financial district, the City of London. Unlike most of its competitors in the industry, it is not a company but instead a corporate body governed by the Lloyd's Act of 1871 and subsequent Acts of Parliament. Lloyd's serves as a partially mutualised marketplace within which multiple financial backers come together to pool and spread risk. These underwriters or "members" are both corporations and individuals.

The insurance business underwritten at Lloyd's is predominantly general insurance and reinsurance, although in 2013 there were five syndicates writing term life assurance. The market has its roots in marine insurance and was founded by Edward Lloyd at his coffee house on Tower Street in the 17th century. Today, it is based at the Lloyd's building on Lime Street. Its motto is Fidentia, Latin for "confidence".
In 2011, over £23.44 billion of gross premiums were transacted in the Lloyd's market and in the aggregate it made a pre-tax loss of £516 million, driven by a number of significant natural disasters which gave rise to its highest-ever annual level of claims. In 2012, Lloyd's made a pre-tax profit of £2.77 billion on a record £25.50 billion of gross written premiums.
Policy Price of Alien Abduction Insurance
  1. The Alien Abduction Company’s Life time policy cost $9.95
  2. Llyod’s UFO Abduction insurance costs GBP 19.99.

Claim Settlement Hoax
Why do people believe in UFO Abductions?
I’m bemused that we are smart enough to land an automobile size payload on another planet, but still live in a culture where a significant percentage of people want to believe in implausible if not impossible things. The reality is that intelligence has nothing to do with believing in “weird things.”
A recent National Geographic Society poll reported that 36 percent of Americans — about 80 million people — believe UFOs exist, only 17 percent do not, and the rest of the people are undecided. The survey did not specifically equate UFOs with flying saucers or little green men, however.

A public relations challenge for NASA and the U.S. military is that 80 percent in the NGS survey feel that the government is hiding information about UFOs. This percentage of government distrust is consistent with a 2009 CBS News poll that found that 77 percent of the population believes that the government covered-up the truth behind the 1963 John F. Kennedy assassination.

Thanks for reading.
This extract is taken from my TYBBI Insurance Project ' Bizarre Insurance Project '

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